I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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