you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
