hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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