I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
