Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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