So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
