and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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