She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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