I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
