Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
