I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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