I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
