all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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