maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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