maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
