i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
