i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
