My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
