She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
