I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
