i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
