I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
