FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
