You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
