i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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