The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
