An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
