I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
