But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
