i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
