whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
