Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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