got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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