you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
