between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
