She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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