Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
