When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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