My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
