I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
