I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
