ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
