Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
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