I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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