Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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