How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
