Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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