just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
