just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Randomize
