Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
