So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
