Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
